Aged Care | The elephant in the living room
The truth is that no-one wants to start a conversation about how they will handle any future challenges relating to their later life. However we believe that it is one of the most important conversations to have as we grow older.
Typically these discussions are avoided, and it is easy to do so. Health challenges may impact on an otherwise stable and loving partnership and seriously, who wants to ‘rock the relationship boat’ on something like the future health of themselves or their partner.
The fact is that it is far preferable to hold a conversation when all relevant parties are of sound mind; otherwise decisions are made on behalf of others rather than through the collaboration of all. Ideally, the discussion needs to be an open and honest one that candidly describes your wishes and covers all of the ‘what-if’ scenarios. It should involve all concerned parties, not just your partner or spouse.
Topics such as mental or physical incapacity, poor health habits and future care-giving are just some of the key issues that can arise at this point in life. As people make plans for their future, all of these matters need to be ‘on the table’ with the objective to agree on how they or their family will handle both the expected hurdles as well as the unexpected. I am not saying that the parties must agree on everything, but there has to be a consensus and a fundamental meeting of the minds.
One of the important roles we have as financial advisors is to facilitate these discussions in a calm and constructive manner through a positive and inclusive environment to secure real outcomes. The concept is that while the subject matter may be sensitive, we provide a forum to understand the wishes and concerns of all family members. We then address these matters in a way that is objective rather than prescriptive and identify possible action items that are tangible.
We are often asked What is the most appropriate time to open a discussion of this nature? The answer is between ages 52 and 53. This may well surprise you as it is far earlier than most people think. But this is the age when, on average:
- People are of sound mind
- Are open to holding a discussion about what may lie ahead
- Have sufficient life experience to talk about expected and unexpected events
- Are prepared to consider their future care arrangements; and
- Are thinking about and planning their retirement on a more regular basis.
When we meet people, we are often quick to ask ‘How are the children?’ At Principal Edge, we go to the next level in this respect by asking our clients ‘How are your parents?’ In this way we can start the conversation in an unobtrusive manner before it is forced upon us.
Lex Goldsmith | Senior Planning Analyst | Principal Edge Financial Services
First published December 2015 | Landsdowne News, the publication for Landsowne Garden
